the crawlspace

okay.
i can do this, i've been tellin' myself for
months now.

the day finally came. i wasn't exactly plannin'
on it, but got motivated....

for someone who is anti-war, i sure have a lot
of army clothes.
got my army pants on. tucked them in my tie dye
sox!
put on an army jacket....figured spider bites
wouldn't go thru that....
tied my hair back and tucked it in an army hat.
where'd i get all these army clothes???

praying my neighbor wasn't in his back yard,
i crept over to the crawl space. open the door...
and a huge spider leapt outta the way.

great. just great.

okay. let's get this web outta here....
and let's tell that big guy to move a bit...

i am so itchy just typing this.

okay.
under.

ohhhhhh.
did i mention the claustrophobia???

oh boy.
okay.
i start.
it's duct work i'm doin'. checkin' 'em out,
taping the seams....tryin' to see what's up
with my heating system. never even knew how
it worked til recently.

oh man. i gotta crawl over there?? oh. man.
i wonder if spiders hide if you sing.

blank.
can't think of one song.
so i sing about that. loud.
if my neighbor comes out and hears
me, i'm gonna die....

tape that seam.
gotta crawl further.
talkin' to myself out loud. talkin' to the spiders.
'well, gals, (figure the spiders are she's...don't
know why)....i gotta learn how to do this stuff, see?
i gotta learn independence. ow. ow. uh. ohhhh. okay.
i just learned how to do this! you get rich and HIRE
someone else how to do this! i need to get rich.
that or knee pads, huh girls? at least i only have two
knees.'

taped that one.
oh man. if i crawl down there the only way out is to
back out. oh man.
ohhhhh look!
ah! that's where the cricket infestation is from!
there they are!
oh man.
sing terri. sing.

and as i sing, i think i should prolly kick my
foot and make some vibrations....can't hurt.
singing, layin' on my belly, kickin' my foot..
tapin' the ducts....

next seam please.

oh great. i gotta get by the toilet pipe.
great. man. this is dedication, ter. you are doin'
good. yeah. but if i got stuck past that pipe
it's gonna be tough.....

oh man.
one more cause i'm not goin' any further than this..
ohhhh hi there little lady.
oh. hi.
yeah.
nice spider.
okay. just hang on. just gonna be a second.

zakk comes to the crawl space door.
'how's it goin' mom???'

oh zakk it's scary and icky down here!!

'mom, why don't you let me do it?'

CAUSE I HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO BE INDEPENDENT!

the spider scurried away.....
i woulda too.

oh.
i'm still itching.

but i did it!
independence one belly crawl at a time!

okay.
now it's time for that attic....