the last frontier....

i have a friend who used to point out all
the time that when i put something out to the
universe, i got pretty quick responses.

what the heck does all that mean?
i don't know.
i'd ask outside myself, and somehow i'd feel
some kinda guidance.i don't know any more
than that.

when she'd say that i never knew what to answer
back. i'd usually mumble something like
'yeah, seemed kinda fast, huh?'

i was just in the shower. man, nothin' like a hot
shower on a chilly mornin'.

and what should happen??? i spontaneously start
singin' a love song to myself.
yeah.
grin.
okay.
first of all, the courage it takes to write this
blog must not be overlooked!
grin.
i feel a bit stupid.....
but i'm in for the ride.....
so here we go.
i rarely claim bravery.
this morning, i do.
this is me bein' brave....

as i sang the song, i thought of the body image
issues.

the last frontier.

honest to pete, i stay away from that frontier with
all my might. i try never to go near it.

too many deep seated issues, to hard to get thru,
don't wanna touch it.

so there i am, singing this song, thinking....
ohhhhhh the body issues, ter. you're gonna have
to face them.

what?!
no way.
i've been plannin' on dyin' without touchin' those
issues. not happenin'. forget it.

yeah......but what about what you just said....
you're in for the ride, take you where you need to go....

how you ever really gonna help another woman out if
you can't help yourself out???

ohhhhh.
that is so not fair.

and the song rises up again and i sing some more....

it's over.
i know it.

one reason i stay away from those issues is i know how
i work. if i get the foot in the door, then i'm in.
then i start mullin' and thinking and workin'.
so i've been keepin' my feet at a way safe distance
from that door.

the toes got in this morning.
darn.
darn.
darn.

and so.
the last frontier just showed itself to me....

body issues.

can i do it?
can i face all that stuff?

i said i was in for the ride.......
this sure seemed kinda weird comin' up just now.
i said i'd be alert, open, willing.....

and so there ya go........
i'm gonna hang on and take the ride......
and i'm gonna face something i've been dreading......

what the heck.
how bad can it be?

yeah.
i know.
bad.

hang on, ter.......the ride gets bumpy.........
what the heck.
who wants a smooth ride anyway?!

yeah.......i do.......
oh well........