wimps

ya know.
i'm a wimp.
just a huge wimp.

i try to hold this wisdom stuff i read.
i try to let go of things that i can't hold.
i try to watch what i'm doin' and adjust
as i go along.

and still.....wimp.

just hung up with someone that means the world
to me. and darn if she's not havin' some scary
health problems.

she was before and i ran. there's a blog in here
somewhere about that.
i ran away because i don't want to lose her.
brilliant, huh?

okay.
so that would be wimp and what?
scaredy cat??

scaredy cat wimp.

oh i know.
i know.
don't call yourself names, ter.

it's true tho.

i'm not runnin' again.
that would be stupid.
and i'm not stupid.

there. ya see?
something positive.

i felt the fear again tho.
i felt it rise right up.

i wish i was better at letting people go.
i'm not so good at that.
i suck at that, actually.

sigh.

what did mister levine say below?
to allow the grief to penetrate as it will
while keeping open to the perfection of the
universe.

wow.
can you imagine if you can pull that one off???

opening the heart and keeping it open....
hardest thing i can think of.