big stuff!

okay.
this is big.
i really really hope i can articulate it!

you know that experience you have when you're
so stressed or wound tight but you don't really
have any idea until you relax and then you go
woe! i didn't realize i was so stressed!
you have no idea until you shift???

ya know that feeling???

well.......
i had it with something i didn't even know i had
today!!!!

giving stuff away with my business is just part of
business. it's a constant thing, just is, and i like
it that way.

well, yesterday, i got a little carried away with it.
and this morning i was wrapping all that stuff up.

i had been talkin' to josh about energy and vibrations
and attracting like energy. he's taking that 'manifest
your dreams' class and i want to hear all he's learning!

so he gave me the tidbit of sending out the right vibrations.

ready?
i pictured the (i can't spell the word!!) thingies comin'
out of the martian's head on 'my favorite martian.' remember
those???

well i pictured those comin' up just like his used to do
and sendin' out the right vibes! right outta my cute little
noggin!

so i plopped down on my studio floor to wrap up goodies i
was givin' away. and i thought of the vibe thing......

and i realized......
this is big.........

that from day one whenever i gave something away, there
would be a voice way down deep inside of me sayin'
'i don't want anything back from this. this isn't about
that. it's a giving. not a getting back.'

and you know what???
i realized it today for the first time.
and it's a NEGATIVE THING!
it was more on the dark and gloomy side of things.
i so wanted to make sure no one took any of my giving
for manipulating or any other bad thing, that i would
fill myself with a 'i don't want anything back' feeling!

i never noticed before.

today when i packed stuff up, i thought 'this energy will return
to me. i want this energy. it's free, and loving, and
abundant! it is returned. my life is full of this.'

it's not about money or stuff....
it's that life is abundant and full of love and that
kinda thing.....

that's what i want back! and i'm gonna put it out there.
i want that!!! i've got that!

and as soon as i saw that, the other showed up that
i had been thinking. i never even knew it!

i felt like this huge huge thing shifted inside of me!

i don't know if i explained it to make any sense...
but i just think it's a huge thing.

it's not about money, it's not about stuff....
it's about energy.....

i'm thinking this is so darn cool.....