confused.

okay.
so here's the challenge.

do i take care of people that can't see me?

yeah. i can do that.
i don't need to get something back.

yeah. well. that sounds really pretty, ter.
BUT how come you get so banged up in the process?

you must really want something back, or you
wouldn't get banged up?

okay. true.
depends on the people.
some people it's a piece of cake.
these people, it's my biggest challenge.

maybe i can do it this time?

what's the motivation for doing it?
hmmmmmm........

that's a tough call.

it FEELS like just being human.
caring. loving. trying to be compassionate.
i honestly believe that's a real big part
of it all.

what else tho, girl?

what honestly else?

pressure from outside?
what's it look like not to?

yeah.
that's there.

what do they all think of you?

yeah, that's there.

they think you're a bum anyway. so why
worry???

because somewhere somehow i keep thinking
that if they could see me and see the compassion
and love, they would know i wasn't that bum.

hmmmmmm........
doesn't that bring you right back to where you started?

they can't see you????
if that's true....
yes.
it's true.

then they can't see the compassion and love inside.

you are only settin' yourself up yet again.

so.
do you honestly do it for the sheer sake of doing it
or do you honestly do it to get something back?
or both??

and when you know you're looking for something....
which i am......
and you know you can't get it from that source...
which i can't.....

then do you go to the source that can give it to you?
that source being you?

and then once YOU give it to you, you can do it for
the sheer sake of doin' it.

but maybe if you haven't given that to you yet,
you can't.

and maybe you need to know that and either accept that
or give it to yourself.

and maybe you can't give it to yourself til you stop
fighting yourself.

maybe you just aren't quite ready to give it to them
yet as you're still learning how to give it to you.

and maybe that's okay.

but getting comfortable with that can only happen if
you get comfortable with who you are.

get comfortable with who you are.
get comfortable with who you are.
see in you what you want them to see in you.
know it.
believe it.
embrace it.
live it.
shine it right on out of you.

then go take care of them.