emotional victim? no thanks!

so i told him about some changes inside me.
how i processed stuff when things bothered me.
how i noticed i could separate stuff better.
and how it happened just that morning with
him.

told him about it for an example.

his delight tickled me.

usually i'm the one who says 'this is huge!'

this time it was him.
he said exactly that.
'this is huge, ter!'

he said 'it means you won't be a victim of
your emotions.'

wow.
i hadn't thought of it that way.
but he's right.

i'm learnin' to separate the feelings from
the reality.

understanding that there are big differences
sometimes.

doesn't mean i've got this down like a pro
by any means. but it means i've begun.

for example.......
he said somethihng to me yesterday that pushed
my buttons big time. i could feel the hurt go
all over me. that feeling i knew so well.

but i stopped and said 'wait. it's not what it
feels like.'

and i thought it thru.
i knew the deal. i knew what was real.
it felt entirely different to me because of past
things, past hurts. but those feelings really did
not coincide with the reality of the situation.

and i could see that!

so i stopped, thought it thru and put it aside.

the putting aside isn't totally easy.
i still felt some discomfort.
but told myself i wasn't going to hold it.
and i refocused to what i believed to be true.

and that worked.

it actually worked!

and that wasn't the first time that's happened.

in the last two weeks, i've seen it several times!

big changes!

and the whole 'victim of my emotions' line....
that's really a powerful thought.

i sure don't want to be any kinda victim.
so there's more fuel to keep this goin'!

it's definitely creating my own reality and
believing in the good.......

i'm kinda excited.

we looked at each other and grinned.
we both knew this holiday season holds some
big challenges for me.
and we both knew this could really make a
difference.

could be a darn good season after all, we said.

and i think it just might be!