gold in my hands...

some friends stopped over the day before thanksgiving.
we were in my studio talkin' about the holiday.
and i kinda just paused and looked down. when i looked
up at them and spoke, my voice cracked.
i told them that i don't ever remember a thanksgiving
where i heard that people were thankful for me like
i have this year.

i told them about my customers and how i've got incredible
people touching my life every day....and how some of them
came thru and told me they cared.

i told them how lucky i was to be able to connect with
the people i do.

they said nice things that i immediately brushed off and
then i hugged them goodbye and wished them a good holiday.

it's so much goodness to hold that i don't know what to do
with it sometimes. but i said it out loud to them. that was
pretty big for me. i said it out loud and shared it with them
because i know it's gold. even if i don't understand it, i know
i'm holdin' gold.

i felt like i was lookin' up at them sayin' 'look, wow. where'd
this come from?! it's so pretty. and it's my hands. wow. wow.'

and then just now...i read a friend's blog, and she mentioned
me on her list of gratitude things...

and the tears came to my eyes right away.

i think so much of my life was different....i was appreciated
not for who i was...but for unhealthy reasons. i figured that
out at some point and left that life.

and now....to see this all around me.....

i don't even know what to do with it.

cry a little.
feel the gratitude flood over me.
and bow down to this love that surrounds me......