pieces of the puzzle

so i took a buncha pieces of paper
and wrote things on them.
things that have been floating around
in me....things i figure are all pieces
of the puzzle.

i wrote them down and spread all these
pieces over my coffee table.

'okay, i'm gonna figure out how they
all fit together.'

he comes in and sits down.

starts moving the papers around. doesn't
take long before he's putting them in
piles.

'what goes under this one?'
he asks.

'oh, this one definitely is right above
this one.'

i'm amazed.

first of all, he never blinked an eye over
the scraps of paper deal.
then that he'd just go moving them around like
that.

his logic brain kicked in and he was there to
solve the puzzle.

some stuff he got wrong.
and some of the shuffling of my inner whirlings
felt a little odd and uncomfortable.

but i paid attention.

even told myself if it's uncomfortable, listen
harder, there's prolly something there for you.

he made some really really really good points.

wasn't easy to hear.
but true stuff that made sense.

but this!
this struck me the most.....

there were prolly 12 pieces of paper with different
things on them.

one had 'self doubt' on it.
and another had 'empire/future' on it.

he pointed to the empire piece (i refer to my
business as 'the empire!')

he said, you don't have self doubt with the business.
you have always chosen to believe you can do it.

you made the choice not to have that there.

woe.

um.

he's right.

oh, i've had financial scares....
and worries over sales....

but i've always believed i could do it.

he's right.

i CHOSE to believe.

he went on to explain to me that another
piece of paper "belief in being loved" is
a choice.

it's all a choice, he said.

you can believe it or not.

what you do with that affects everything.

he sat back.
he was about done.

and i ....well i've just begun......