practicin'......

i walked this morning...
or should i say hobbled???

i hurt my back on the trip.
no earthly practical reason for it...
had to be major emotions. i'm convinced.
but it's really really affected me.

i started out way slow. i coulda been
90 years old.

oh! wait! half way hobbled down the road
i figured out i could practice bein' old!
i certainly moved like old. it hurt like old.

okay. let me see what it's like to be old.
at least a tiny taste of it.

i had started out really slow and pretty
painful. total concentration was on moving
without really damaging anything.

okay. so concentration on the body.
that's where my head was.

as i went i unkinked a bit and could look
around a bit more. i could see outside of
myself at that point.

interesting.

i was way slower so i could really look at things.
okay. that's kinda cool.

by the time i got to my good morning spot i was
feelin' much better than when i started, but still
definitely feelin' old.

i looked at the colors. they were gorgeous. they
had turned more since i last was there. the sky
was this great somber gray.

ohhhhhh the sky is my back right now. if i had a color
for my back.....it would be that sky color.
the colors of the trees my insides. yeah. i liked that.

the sky enhances the colors. makes them stand out.
maybe my back pain can do that for my insides.

maybe the pain doesn't have to take away from
how i'm doin' today. maybe it can enhance it.

hmmmmm.......

so i turned back towards home pondering how it
could enhance things.....

every step was filled with gratitude that i could
do it.

that was something enhanced. usually i just walk
and bounce along and don't think how lucky that
step was to have taken. this time i appreciated
every step.

things felt more precious. didn't know if that's
cause of the trip i just had or the pain. couldn't
tell.

i was slower. more time to think. more time to
reflect. i can see that my time table will be way
different today. and that felt kinda nice.

it's all gonna be what you do with it, isn't
it, ter?

that's life all the time.

and so i keep learnin'.......and maybe this practicin'
bein' old will help me just plain ol' practice really
living.....