quick! under the covers!

i had been datin' my boyfriend for just
a short time when he made his first unannounced
drop in visit.

i'll never forget that moment.
i was standing in the middle of my kitchen
next to a card table i had set up doin'
some creative something or other and i looked
like a complete and total pig.

i heard him coming in my front door. and
i panicked.i couldn't have him see me like
this. what do i do???

thinking quickly and maturely, i did the only
thing any grown confidant woman would do....

i dove under the card table!!!

oh man.
just typing that out makes me laugh.
i'm not kidding.
i dove under the card table.
there was no table cloth on it, nothing
to hide behind....just me under the darn
table.

um.
it was kinda noticeable.

oh man.
it's a great memory. makes me laugh every
time.

i don't know what happens....i just don't
think and well...i hide.

well, i've had other times where life
unnerved me as much as my boyfriend's surprise
visit. the quick, intense need to hide overcame
me and i hopped into bed and pulled the covers over
my head and just stayed under for a bit.

she knows this all too well.
she was in my life at those times and we were
close. i told her all about those moments.
and she of course, did the supportive friend thing
that any friend would do. she burst out laughing.
and never let me forget it.

'tess' she'd say (that's her name for me)
tess, you're gonna need a blanket for this one....
tess, quick! where's the blankets! cover your head!

all that supportive stuff friends say.

well, there we were touring her new house. and we
walked into her bedroom.
there in her bed were three lumps.
funny, i didn't really pay attention at first.
i don't know, maybe i thought she left her slippers
in it before she made it. i don't know. it didn't
register.

but the boys noticed it.
what's with the lumps???

i looked.

it was a totally smooth, beautifully made bed with
three little lumps in different spots sticking up.

she laughed.
said it was the cats.
that they were scared.
they were hiding.

i burst out laughing.
you're kiddin' me???

i looked again. they were as still as still could be.
there we all were at the foot of the bed staring.
and there they lay not making a move.

i started laughing harder.

she looked at me.
'think we'll have to rename these cats. think they
earned the name 'tess', whatta you think???'

i kept laughing.
i couldn't stop.
i kept thinking how i do this and my fears are like
us all standin' around the bed looking down at me
laughin' and pointin' and jokin' about what a goofball
that lump was in the bed.

i laughed til i cried.

what an incredible sight!

what an absolute goofball i am!
my IQ ranks right up there with a cat's!!!