where to start?

i think transitioning anyone to a nursing home
would have to be horribly difficult...
and technically, we didn't even do that...
it's the rehab center first. and THEN in a
few weeks......the nursing home. which hasn't
exactly been accepted in his mind yet...

but i think that if you dealt with a loving,
considerate person who wanted to make the most
out of their life, it would break your heart.
it's a heart breaking moment in life.

it seems like it would be a clean break tho.
not easy. but clean. your heart would break clean.

but if you're dealin' with a self centered,
inconsiderate person who spits on the gift of
life.....wow.....it's heartbreaking and makes
a mess out of your heart.

at least it did mine.
and it confused me, as with me he's been different.
and i've seen other parts of him....but
i think what's really there definitely came out.

there were so many issues/emotions runnin'
thru dealin' with all of this that i found
myself really overwhelmed.

and he's not even MY dad!

i kept wonderin' how his son was handlin' it.

i saw a whole lotta frustration in his son.
at one point i offered for him to go walk it
off while i went back in with his dad......
he didn't take me up on it...
prolly should have.

and over and over i kept thinking.....
this growing old stuff.....it scares the daylights
outta me.....
i want to learn how to do this....
i want a mentor.

i couldn't think of one old person i admired and
wanted to learn from.
god bless yo yo....he pointed one out to me.
i am definitely going to have a few conversations
with that man!
altho......i think i see what his secret is.....

it's a life about others, a life with faith,
a life of love.

of course.
of course.

what i just experienced was so not that......

and it all whirls inside......