josh

it's josh's birthday today!!
he turns 23!

i wish everyone could really know him.

in the personality book we have, they
call his personality 'the entertainer'
and so he is!

everyone always knows when josh is around!

but he's so much more!
he has a kind and generous heart.
he's the one i take walks with and have
to constantly stop because he's moving
worms off the road so they don't get squished.
i am not kidding. it definitely slows the
exercise part of the walk down, but increases
the awareness part!

he has a wisdom about him that i just love.
and when he tries to share it, he doesn't know
he's sharin' wisdom. he just presents it as
a thought he's having and offers it freely
and gently. he's definitely an old soul. if there
really are past lives, he's been here before.

there's a sensitivity about him that allows
others to let him in. he's had so many students
come to him with problems in their lives.
and when he sat next to one of his teenage
students at their dad's funeral, i stood in
the back with tears in my eyes. he has no idea
how important his kindness is. it's natural
to him, and he gives it without a thought.

so many times he's gone out of his way for his
students/friends/neighbors and i've thought
'does he have time for that?' and he always has.
and yeah, that would explain a lot of his runnin'
around! he's a busy guy!

there is a part to josh that makes me sad.
he doesn't know what a really cool person he is.
he has no idea of his glow.

it kinda stuns me that he doesn't know. everyone
around him does. but maybe that's okay, ya know?
maybe he wouldn't be the same if he did.
he struggles with things inside of him. and i
want to help and am not able to. that's always
been hard for me. but maybe that's okay too.
because i'm watching him. those struggles are
giving him strength he doesn't know he has yet.
but he'll figure it out. i think strength kinda
surprises you one day and you see it. so i know
he'll see it.

he and i react to things very similarly and it's
such fun! we get carried away with enthusiasm and
can really egg each other on.

my guy will sit and watch us with this grin on his
face and say that we're clones that way. i always
get a kick out of that. i don't often find someone
who can get so excited so it's great fun for me.
his brothers say it's like havin' six year olds in
the house!

one of my favorite stories is when josh was tiny.
didn't talk yet. he and i spent out days together.
he and i were sitting at my table when my mom called.
she said 'it will be so fun when he starts talking.'
i remember being a little taken aback and lookin'
over at him. oh, yeah. he wasn't talking yet. i kinda
felt like we were havin' conversations all the time!

we've locked horns, glared at each other and growled
a bit at times. i lost it so badly once when he was
in a band and they were tryin' to promote josh in a
way that just wasn't cool. i remember havin' kept a
ton in of what i thought about that band...but when
the pictures came up, i started hollerin. i remember
one of the guys took some of the laundry i was folding
and hid behind it! i just let it out full steam. and
then josh came over and put his arm around me....

he's duct taped sports coats, spray painted sneakers,
gone to dances as a 'cannibal king' in spray painted
grass skirts, he's touched more hearts than i even know
about, taught so many people that all they need is to
find the love of something and then they can do it,
showed so many kids that they mattered and they counted,
and made a lot of us laugh.

oh man.
what a journey.
he's a young man now.
he's got his own house.
a career.
and a life filled with people who really care about him.

i'm celebratin' my baby....uh no....my man today!!!