julie

i didn't grow up with pets.
well, we had mice. and hamsters
and my brother had fish and a lizard.
i had a mouse in high school i named
after my dad. (i could never figure out
why he wasn't flattered!)
but the cat/dog stuff....nahhh...we
didn't do it.

ready?
my dad grew up on a farm and hated animals!
yeah!
that makes me laugh now.
it's kinda weird.
so it definitely colored my animal upbringing.

few weird moments with dogs, scary moments
with horses, scratchy moments with cats...
and i never quite bonded.
i have a friend who says the fact that i don't
have a pet is 'my only flaw.' (yeah, right....
well, sweet anyway)

that same friend has decided she needs to put
her pet greyhound down tomorrow. her entire family
was in on the decision and will be there as
julie passes.

i never know how to say this without sounding
like a total lunatic. no one will every take me
seriously....but that pet mouse of mine? teddy?
i loved teddy. i mean, i really loved teddy.

yeah, i've heard the responses 'it was a rat.'
'a rodent. you can't love a rodent.'
but i really did. i used to do my homework outside
with teddy. i'd let him run in the grass while
i did my math. he'd never go far. he'd stay around,
nibble my toes. one day i got lost in a math problem.
looked up and couldn't find teddy anywhere. turns
out he was on my back!!

when he died i was in the tenth grade.
i cried. and i went to school really really sad.
i told the boy who sat behind me in one of my
classes about it. he actually was really kind about
it. i grieved my mouse.

that's the closest i can come to relating to what
my friend is feeling now. and i know that in comparison,
it's not much.
but i do know that when you really really love a pet,
they are part of you. and to have to make the decision
to help them pass....well that's got to be so hard.

i wanted to honor what they were goin' thru tonite.
they're on my mind. the love for julie is on my mind.

love is an incredible thing....it can feel so great
and it can hurt so much....
and it is worth all the pain.

sending them my love right now....
and holding them in my heart.