laughin' out loud.

a word i have always hated to describe
my personality is 'bubbly.'
oh man.
groan.
groan.
groan.

and i've heard it a million times.
each time i want to throw daggers at the
person!

grin.

i don't know, it just sounds stupid.

but the truth is....i lean towards bubbly.

shhhh.

don't go tellin' people i used the b word!!

i just hung up the phone. was laughin' with
a friend. heard myself. the laughter was really
hearty.

i noticed that yesterday.

just real hearty loud gut laughing.

man, i love to do that!

i tend to laugh a fair amount. but the real hearty
gut stuff.....that's the golden stuff.

so i'm noticing it.
what brings that out?
what keeps that from showin' up???

it's not just problems that hide it.
i heard myself laughin' pretty hard over some
problems yesterday.....

i'm thinking it's got to be an awareness thing.
being aware of what's goin' on inside of me
and tryin' to take care of the different parts of
me.

i think when i do that, i'm deeply happy. even if
there's sad stuff around me. i think it matters
a lot.

i've got my resolutions on my mind today.
some years i'm just not into that....and some years
i am.

this year i am so rarin' to go. grab my life and
create a good year.

i'm thinking that this bein' aware of the parts of
me has got to be part of the resolution list.

i'm thinking aiming for hearty, gutsy laughter has
got to be part of it all.....

gonna spend the day mullin' this.

how does one write goals that get you to hearty,
gutsy laughing???

it's funny too. my dad used to tell me i was loud.
so when i laughed loud, i would feel kinda bad about
it.

now when i laugh loud i want to make it a life time
goal.

ya know.....i think i'm growin'!