what a game....

it was months and months ago.
the economy fear was already showing up in
my business. and in my blood. i could feel
the fear zippin' on thru my veins.

the guys had already begun asking me what
was wrong, was i okay, and gently reminding
me to trust.

it was after a conversation with a shop owner
that i felt the turn inside me.

she had told me that she felt it too, but that
she had made a decision not to go with the fear.
to know she had something to do here with her
shop, and she'd do just fine.

she was so gently firm and determined about it.
it was so cool. and i knew she was right.
so, between her and my guys, i remembered. and
i stepped back into the flow. for real. i haven't
felt the fear since then.

the other day, in the mail, came her christmas
check. the biggest check i have ever received from
a shop! i smiled so wide when i saw that and sat
right down to email her a thank you.

not just for the check......but for what she had
done for me, and for what the check symbolized.

she wrote back. it was her second worst season
ever. no doubt about it, the fear was runnin' wild
around her, she said. it's everywhere.

and then she went on to say some really cool stuff
about the bone sighs....

i just sat there staring at the screen.
when i get a really cool note, i just lean back and
stare at it....
and that's what i was doin'. tryin' to soak it in.

i just got filled with that feeling.......
i haven't a clue what's goin' on, i haven't a clue
where i'm sposed to go specifically....
but i know without a speck of doubt that i need
to believe. i need to trust.
and i need to keep the fear outside of my studio.

so as those tiny checks come in, and they will.
they already have...and when some don't show at all,
and that will happen too, it already has....

i am determined to remember this big one, and
to know it's all gonna be okay.

today, this moment, it all feels like a game, and
if you know how to play, you'll be fine.

today, this moment, i know how to play!