food for my walk today

i keep thinking about it....
it was about as near a perfect a day as
i can imagine.

and yet....
if i had to write the perfect day out,
it certainly wouldn't have been it.

we had to do something that was difficult
and created a lot of pain for him. and i
was carrying some pretty heavy weight about
something else.

and yet we managed to have one of the best
days we've ever had together.

there hasn't been much time together, and
i know that was the big factor. just plain
missing each other. just plain appreciating
each other.

and here's the kicker that i keep thinking of...
no expectations for anything but to spend
time together.

no expectations of anything.

i figured out a long time ago that expectations
are killers. and yet...they continue to creep
in even tho i know better.

but they didn't creep in at all on this near
perfect day.

and i keep thinking about that.

the ol' 'happiness is a state of mind' thing...
they aren't kiddin', are they?
it so is.

and so as i gear up for a new day, i'm thinking
about this a lot....

i'm not exactly sure how to go thru a regular
work day with no expectations. i don't even think
i know where to start or IF i even WANT to start.

how do you go thru a day without expectations?
a regular day? a day you have to do certain things??

is it no expectations of the outcome of stuff???
is it no expectations of what i need to get done???

or is it a twist of that?
i think i have to use different words to make it work
for me....
what if it's holding a knowing that it's all good
as it is and i don't need to control it???

is that the same thing?
that wording works a lot better for me.

i'm not sure if they're the same thing.
they're at least related....cousins maybe.

i do believe i have food for a walk here today....
i'm thinking this is something worth exploring.