Sunday, February 8, 2009

a question...

sometimes when things run deep in me,
they will act like filters to my thoughts.
every thought that runs thru me, will also
run thru that filter. i know it and watch
it.

the filter these days is 'living.'
living fully, living with intention, living
to uncover more of who i am. the preciousness
of it all. the brevity of it all.

when i was thinking about a friend with marriage
problems this morning, the thoughts ran thru that
filter.

what i wish i could tell her more than anything
is simple.....

this is it.
this is your life.
surround yourself with people who encourage you
to be all you are. who want you to be you
even when it's different than who they are!!

step back.
take a look at your life and what you're doin'.
are you apologizing for who you are?
are you being less than who you are for someone else?

if so......ask yourself why???
and ask yourself what it is you gain with that choice.

i'm way way different than that guy of mine.
and when we were first together, i know some of the things
about me made him uncomfortable.

that made me uncomfortable.
do i tone it down?
do i tweak a bit?

this topic came up several times.
he was always adamant.
'don't change a thing.'
he'd say that anything that he found uncomfortable was
HIS deal. not mine. and HE needed to do the looking and
see why the discomfort. i needed to just be who i was.

woe.
pretty pretty words.
could they be backed up?
over and over they have been.

way more than pretty words....
i'm thinking that's a huge chunk of what love is.

and it is in that sense of love, i have the freedom
to keep going and living and diving into who i am.

and it is in his example that i have been able to
offer the same back to him. i gotta say tho, he's the
one who has really taught me that. before that,
i think it was more pretty words i had to offer.

if it's just words, it won't work.
gotta be backed up by belief.

do you have that freedom? i want to ask her.

if yes........fabulous!
if no....maybe that's a good place to start looking.
why not?

why would you choose to be with someone who doesn't
encourage you and want you to be all who you are???

it's such a simple concept...
and yet......i'm not sure how easy a one it is to
create.

it certainly has taken me a long time.
and.....once you touch it, doesn't mean you've got it.
it's a constant thing to work at.
it can drift away in a moment.

but i'm thinking that just the very process of demanding
that in your life, and also giving that back in your life...
i'm thinking the act of doing that it is living fully.

it's like one big wonderful circle.

are you living your life as you?
or are you living your life as your partner's perception
of you?

it's one of those questions that you can like and hate
all at once.
it's a good one to get you thinking...
it's one to hate cause it causes more work.

grin.

i guess maybe that's all the more reason to like it....

3 comments:

t2 said...

see my blog.....

lessa said...

wowwwwwwwww... M:e put a link to you on her blog... and I am gonna be thinking about this the rest of my day...

I am living my own life.. I do know that...

living fully... living with intention... and living to find out who you really are, oh yes, you are so right there...

thank you...

lessa

selkie said...

I came to this through M:e as well.. and thankful for it.

I cannot TELL you how this speaks to me, right now, at this juncture of my life - it is so honest, so straightforward, so TRUE.

Thank you ... for making me think, for clarifying things.