light stealing dark

she's been on my mind all day.
i alerted another neighbor so we can
keep a good eye on her (see post below)
and yo went down to visit tonite.
he stayed down there at least an hour!

he reported she was doin' well.
that's a relief.

but i keep thinking of something that
happened with her today.

i had settled onto her floor with the
lap top and told her i'd just work away
while she watched her tv.

she flipped something on.

i don't watch tv.
i don't even think i have a tv that
works as i didn't switch or whatever it
is you're sposed to do.

i watch stuff on vids...but not tv.
haven't in years and years.
so i am sooooo sensitive to how gross
it can be. if you haven't watched it in
20 years, it can be a bit of a shock.

i have no idea what this show was.

but it was horrible.
i started doin' my thing and i could
feel whatever was on was creepy.

i thought 'oh great, i gotta tune out
creepy. i can tune out soaps, i can tune
out game shows...but creepy? oh man.'

well.......whatever was on was so incredibly
disturbing i looked up at her and asked
with a totally pained look 'is this stuff
true? this is horrible.'

that's when she said 'yeah, this is trash,
let me find something else...'

it was trash in the truest sense of trash.
i can't think of one thing worthwhile about
it and i can think of dozens of things
harmful about it.

there's darkness that we have to deal with.
i'm not all about rose color glasses.
for pete's sake.....i see darkness all the
time.

but this was different.
this was damaging. this was light stealing
darkness. needless light stealing darkness.

and i keep thinking of that.

i honestly believe if i hadn't been there,
she woulda kept watching.

and what on earth good could that possibly
do her?
i got to thinking of all she watches, and all
the yucky ick she bombards herself with.....

and i wondered how anyone could retain their
health thru that.

it actually helped me to see this.

i've been afraid of growing old.
and while i know there's so much beyond our
control (which is why i'm afraid of it)
i see how there's so much in our control.

no matter how old i get, i'm not gonna sit and
watch light stealing garbage gunk.

and i think that right there would have to
help a ton.

there is a lot we can do for ourselves....

showing ourselves some respect in our viewing
choices seems like one of the easier ones....