this gratitude stuff....

yes. i adore them.
but that doesn't mean they can't be idiots
at times.

and so....i called him and left a message.
ranting about my idiot son. (who shall remain
nameless!!)

i went on and on as you can only do with a
good friend's answering machine. said my
son was being an idiot and i needed help in
learning how to be a good parent and handle
this correctly. ranted as only a mother can.

he called back.
i picked up the phone and heard 'well, you
certainly came to the right place as i'm an
expert in idiot sons!'

i laughed.

he said 'tell me about it.'

and i did.

and he made me laugh some more.
and then reminded me of balance. and how
i'm not real good at that and i need to
work on that a bit....

he helped.

it wasn't my idiot son that was the struggle.
it was me.

and very gently, and very humorously, he showed
me that.

i'm learning yet again how to parent.
it's a never ending learning process, isn't it??

i've been thinking of that phone call.

i haven't seen him in over a week.
i've been sick.
he's headin' outta town.
i haven't wanted to get him sick.

it feels like forever since i've seen him....
and yet....there he was helpin' me figure things
out.

i am so grateful my partner's my best friend.
for real.

i've done the lip service deal to that, where
i said that was the case when it wasn't....
and that's a really really sad thing.

having done that tho, i guess it makes having
it for real all that much better for me.

and once again....my perspectives changed...

the idiot son turned into a young man just learning.
the crazed mom turned into me trying to find balance.
and the mopey missing of my guy turned into complete
gratitude that he's in my life....even when he's
not right there in my face.

this gratitude stuff is freakin' me out.
i'm thinking next to love it's got to be the most
powerful force on earth.......