Wednesday, March 4, 2009

brutally honest

ohhhhhhhhh he just made my day!

we were just talkin' and i suggested
he get to know two women we were talkin'
about. (yeah, what was i thinkin??!)
and he kinda crinkled his face and said
he really didn't want to 'go there'....
meaning find out what was at the root
of them.

how come? i asked.
you did with me.

but that took a long time, he answered.

no, it didn't. you were open to it the very
first time i met you.

and then he said it.

he said 'yeah, but you are brutally honest.'

i stopped.

i loved it.

i lit up.

with myself??
you really think so???

and he grinned.

ya like that, don't ya?

oh yeah!
that's what i want to be!!!
you really think so??

he was quick to add 'you're also overly
critical of yourself at times.'

i waved that off.
yeah.
yeah.

he hugged me.
told me i was beautiful.
yeah.
yeah.

but you said brutally honest!
did you mean that?!

he laughed.
he reminded me of the beautiful.

yeah.
yeah.
every guy thinks his girlfriend is
beautiful.

but BRUTALLY HONEST....
oh that's a good one!

honesty is what i want so badly.
and i just can't figure out how you really
know if you're being honest as it's so easy
to trick yourself.

and i know if we get right down to it,
he really doesn't know. i'm the only one
who would really know that.

and i can't really know that.

so no one knows that.

but i don't care.
i liked that he said it anyway.
so i'm goin' with it.

grin.

just made my whole nite.

he said it was part of the 'quest thing' that
i'm on...part of the 'got to know' deal that
i'm workin' on....

maybe.
maybe.

i do know one thing....
i want honesty.

and i guess it's just like everything else...
it's not like once you get it you got it.

it's like everything else....slippin' in and
slippin' out and never quite standing still.....

but for tonite, i'm holding that thought.
for tonite i'm brutally honest.

3 comments:

runzwithknives said...

your posts are such an inspiration for me. and many time I find your thoughts...your perspective hits so close that it's like you are in my head. Thank you.

Lisa said...

i love being brutally honest and can understand why you do too

Anonymous said...

i love that you're brutally honest most of the time, but for me, I'm a chicken.
it takes a lot of courage.
you have that in abundance.
i'm okay with being kind of honest,
just taking peeks at myself.
but you keep on being someone
i can strive to be like.
someday.
when i'm braver.