Thursday, April 2, 2009

an awesome cool goal

there was a moment years ago, where i think
i understood that thought about two people
coming together to become whole.

when i was young and romantic, i loved that
idea. when i was older and not romantic, i
resented the idea.

on this day,
years ago,
i saw the possibilities of the
idea and i wondered.......

it's a great story, but bob will prolly shoot
me if i put it up here. so i'll be general.

we had come to the breaking point. i fully
expected to walk out of his house a broken

instead, something really powerful happened.

pushed to the edge we came up with the idea that
his weakest point and my weakest point were
clashing big time and hurting us both. if we
didn't do something, it would be beyond repair.

so we agreed.
he would work on doing what for him was the hardest
thing in the world to do.
and i would work on doing what for me was
the hardest thing in the world to do.

we would do it with the goal of truly loving each
other in mind.

we would work on growing ourselves so that we could
honestly love each other.

these things that were the hardest things for us
to do.....they're the hardest things because they
touch on our weaknesses, on the things we just aren't
good at, on our wounds, on the places we've been

this situation demanded we strengthen those muscles
if we're ever really gonna pull off living. if we're
ever really gonna pull off loving.

i remember looking over at him.
i was scared.
because i wasn't sure i could do it.
he felt the exact same way.

'i suck at that' he said.
i grinned. 'yeah, i suck at mine.'
and i walked out of his house kinda in a fog.

and that idea about two people becoming whole came to
mind. if we can take these places inside of us and
make them grow, and make them strong....if those are
the places that we haven't been able to work much
with....and now we have to. we're forced to or we
lose what matters.......we just might do it.

we just might pull it off.

that was years ago.
we've done an adequate job.
but we bumped into it again recently.
and last nite we got to talkin' about it all over

we got reminded that we weren't done. there was still
work to do.

and we recommitted to those things we talked of years

i sit here this morning thinking of it all.
i honestly believe this is what they meant about
two people becoming one. making a whole.
i think it's a fascinating concept. the idea of
having to become more of who you are to really love
someone else. the idea of having to build up in the
areas that you suck at because they matter and if you
want the real stuff, you gotta grow yourself.

if i was a minister and giving a wedding talk, i'd
tell my story. all the details of it because the
details do matter. and i'd talk of this discovery of
two hurt people who were desperately tryin' to see
what was goin' on.

in our desperation, i think we found something that
really really really means something important.

and now.......years later i sit back and smile.
we haven't finished by any means. i'm still not entirely
sure we can pull it off.

but i do know's an awesome cool goal.

become strong in your weaknesses so that you can give
yourself entirely to love.

how cool would that be?

1 comment:

Carmen Rose said...

Bless your heart, learning to love someone as he should be loved is one of the biggest challenges ever, and for him to. Bless you dear one!