it was time...

my spirit was tired this morning on my walk.
thoughts everywhere. i couldn't direct them
or work with them....

self doubt seemed to be floating in the
background, but i didn't want to acknowledge
it.

this quote came to mind as i headed back in
the house:

'if she really believed it -
if she really trusted it -
well, then, it was time
she really lived it.'

and i think that right there, had me tired.

i sat down to type a blog and stopped over
at my friend's blog first. to check on
her and her husband...

she finished her blog post with this:

When we first started this journey
(which now seems like a life time ago)
they had told me that there was NO cure
for this cancer....but they also told me
that the cancer would not kill him....
something else would....I guess in some
ways I did not grasp that....
I do now...
---------------

i look out my window on this gorgeous day.
i have everything.

'if she really believed it -
if she really trusted it -
well, then, it was time
she really lived it.'

that shouldn't make me tired.

and i can tell you exactly why it did.
cause i didn't have gratitude.
i just saw work for myself.
and i didn't feel gratitude.

i realize that now.
i walked without it.
that's rare for me.
and i don't like it when it's missing.

her post brought me to my senses.

i realize how lucky i am....and i so want
to give to this friend of mine and help her
and her husband. and i don't know how.

one thing comes to mind....
i can live my day with gratitude and joy.
i can see the beauty around me.
and i can live fully.

part of me thinks that so lame....
and part of me thinks that it's so cool....