Wednesday, May 13, 2009

just haven't found it yet....

what a gorgeous morning!
even with the trucks lumbering by
it was NOT a quiet walk.
but that's okay as i grabbed yo
and wouldn't be thinking much anyway.

one of the supervisors stopped us.
asked me about the pictures i was
taking yesterday.

i took some of the trees and my yard.
i don't know why he asked...
think maybe just to make contact.
think he's tryin' to keep peace in
the neighborhood.

so we talked.
he told me 'it's gonna be a big mess
out here.'

oh great.

i told him i knew.
and told him that my heart was breaking
over it. and that i was trying not to
hate him or any of the other guys out here.

he talked about not being the bad guy.

ahhh....but he sat in his really nice
truck, with his really fancy gold chains
around his neck, his fancy gold rings....

and i tried hard not to judge him and to
see him as a person....

i asked him if his heart was breaking just
a little bit.

don't think so.

he didn't say yes and he said that i had
to admit that the road hadn't been touched
in forty years.

i just looked at him, and said....
'my heart's breaking over this.'

and waved goodbye.

as i walked away i thought 'he IS the bad guy.'
and i had to stop myself.

no he's not.

no he's not.

jeesh it's tough to be mature sometimes.
i just want to hate all of them.


i know better.

and so i ask myself how can i learn love thru this?


i haven't figured it out yet.
it's much easier to forgive the little guys....
but the supervisors are tougher for me....

and i know it's gonna be even more cloudy when i
seem my oak fallin'.......

but i'm sure it's in here somehow.....

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