and they're down...

so i sat on my little front stoop and watched
the skinny guy who had to be all muscle take
my tree down...

young. full of himself. testosterone leaking
out his ears...

great.

i felt like i had to be there.
i just didn't want to not be there.
i don't know why.

they took the oak down piece by piece.

i sat there and thought of all the fun we had
under that tree. it had our basketball hoop
on it. all the hours sitting under it on
the street as the boys learned to bike ride,
and play basketball and skate....

times change, i told myself.
we move on....

and then, later, they came and took a few more.
one of them is just stunningly beautiful.....and
there it lay across my front yard...

even laying there like that, you could see its
beauty.

i just watched from my living room at that point.

i found myself hoping the machine's that shredded
them clogged up and broke.

i thought it was all quiet. everyone had moved
on down the road. i quietly walked out of my house
over to my neighbor's driveway across the street.
i wanted to see what my place looked like from
that angle.

i stood in the middle of their driveway and i
heard the supervisor's truck backing up all the
way down the sreet, coming my way.

sigh.

maybe if i stand here real quiet, he'll go away....

nope.
there he was.
rolled down his window and shouted over 'sure
looks different, doesn't it?'

big sigh.

but then he made a comment about trying to save
a tree....i could see he was trying.

i walked over to his truck.
i tried back.

and we talked for the longest time.....
about the work they're doin'. about people
reacting with each other. about progress,
trees, and about life.

he told me about his lung problems as
he puffed on his cigarette.
i asked him about that. why he still
puffed.
asked about fear, about health, about trying,
about coping....

viet nam came up.
and again, i asked about fear, about health,
about trying about coping...

and i saw a lot of things he just wasn't
going to let out....things he had 'under
control.'

things i could see cause i looked.
things he doesn't know i saw.

when we were done, i looked at him and
thanked him for trying to make it better for
me.

i know he tried.
in his own way. he tried.

and now, i'll just have to turn to the trees
that are still there....and get to know them
better.....

what a world....