believe

she dropped a note thanking me for bone sighs.

i don't think anyone knows what a gift they're
giving when they do that.

she's young. struggling with depression,
survived a suicide attempt a year ago....

she couldn't know.
she couldn't know that i carry such a weight
of sadness about another young woman who
didn't survive.

sometimes i question myself about whether or
not i could have been more help. sometimes
i'm sure that i couldn't have. sometimes i'm
sure i could have. either way, it hurts so
much to think about.

i wrote right back.
told her that she matters.
she's hoping to help others with this.
i know she can.

if i had magical powers, i think what i'd
want to do most is just reach right in and
pop a knowing into everyone's hearts.

a knowing that they count, that their presence
makes a difference, and that they can create
whatever it is they want.

no such luck.
have no magical powers.
and so i say a little prayer as i press
the send button, close my eyes and whisper
to her 'believe.'

if we all could just believe.