Wednesday, June 24, 2009

focusin' on the gratitude....

feelin' an incredibly odd mix of emotions today.

there's a quiet, strong gratitude running thru me.
thinking of all that i have living where i do.
thinking of what it's like to be a be
a person in this country...thinking of all the struggles
others have in other countries.

really kinda hitting me. i stand in my den and think
how lucky i am to have a den...well,'s
a studio.

i have a studiio.
that is so darn awesome.

and while i know gratitude a lot..........i don't
think i know gratitude like i really should.
like my life deserves.

i want to hold that gratitude so deeply today.

at the same time there's a total impatience inside of
me for what i perceive as spoiled ingratitude and
game playing in someone near me. the total lack of
seeing what he has. the complete attitude of he's
owed things and that's how it's sposed to work and
there's no need for gratitude.

the frustration i feel over that is intense today.

the two emotions are runnin' around so strongly
that my insides are just hangin' on for the ride.

i can't change anyone.
sometimes i so so so so want to.
i want to change the world sometimes.
i want to fix things for women everywhere.
i want to fix things for people everywhere.
i want to take spoiled little brats and make them
see what they've got.

and i can't.


all i can do is land on my rear end and change

make my own eyes open.

they're open right now.

and when i choose to focus on frustration,
i am slappin' gratitude in the face.......

i'm not doin' that today.

not today.

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