Tuesday, June 30, 2009

i just happened to be standing at a different angle...

lying has been a theme in my life for the past
several weeks. in key areas i've watched it....
in several different people...and it's made me crazy.

today i saw it from a different angle.
from the angle of what it does to the people
around the person who is lying.

i have seemed to concentrate on the person who's
doing the lying and how that affects their whole
life. and yeah, that's totally connected to the
people around them not being able to trust them
and all that....but the concentration seems to
still be mainly focused on the liar. trying to find
compassion for them. trying to find understanding.
trying to find forgiveness.

but this morning i musta been standing at a different
angle watching. and in this instance i saw the
person getting lied to.

it so sucks for that person.
i felt a lot of different emotions about it.

and then i stepped back and looked.
that person has been me. i've been lied to plenty.
(who hasn't??)
but i don't think i ever gave myself much time
to concentrate on what that does to me.

i mean i hate it.
i resent it.
i dislike the person for doing it.
and i knew all that.

but when i look at this other person now.
the other person getting lied to.
and i look at how they get yanked around,
and how they're trying so hard to do
what's right and see what's right and they get yanked
around without consideration....i can see how much
that has got to hurt and do harm.

then i flip that on me.

i'm always tryin' to find compassion for the liar.

this morning i bumped into compassion for the person
being lied to.

it's a big deal.
a lot of important things inside that person get hurt.

no wonder i don't want it anymore....
it sucks.

life has enough real honest struggles.
who needs other people's garbage like that?

i don't know.......just think that i've hit
some kinda limit i didn't know about.

and i wonder where it will take me.....

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