Monday, June 22, 2009

turning frustration into opportunity....

some mornings i actually do it right.
up on time, early walk, trampoline, shower...
my body was lovin' all that this morning.
which was a good thing as my mind was
swirling with frustration and all that

i'm tryin' to help two people i really
care about. this is sposed to be an intense
week of making it work or ending it.

i'm watchin' 'em both just slide thru and
hope the week goes well.

the week might go fine.
but nothin' else will.
i know that.
they must too....

easy for me to say, i guess.
it's not my work.

thing is......i'm puttin' a lotta effort
into it.

there's a meet up tonite, and i'm bringin'
my frustration to the table.

i won't stay in if we're just gonna slide
thru the week.
they can slide on their own.

i feel real strongly about that.

there's either real effort every day, or
they can go do it their way without me.

and i'm amazed at how strongly i feel this.

i've spent years watching, tryin' to help,
and watchin' them spin what they will how
they will.

i really am getting it's their deal, not mine.

it's taken me years to get, but i've finally
gotten this.

if they are gonna do this their way, that's
okay with me.....just let me go work on my own
life....don't bring me into it.

and i watch myself and grin.
i've come so far.
and i really am starting to value my opinion
and my time. i've run around this circle too many
times to keep doin' it.

i walked thru the frustration, bounced myself
to a better mood, and now am thinking that for
me, it's a good chance to see how much i trust
the process.....and how much i trust me.

i have no idea where they're gonna go.
it could be a really sad ending, it could be a
really long painful ending, it could be a miracle
turn around, it could be a slow turn around.

whatever it is.....
i'm gonna have to be okay with it.
all i'll have to hold onto is what i offered,
whether i was true to myself or not, and if i
gave my best to them and to me.

another opportunity in front of me tonite....
and i'm gonna grab it.

amazing what a little exercise and a cold shower
can do for your attitude!

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