a vague discontent was floatin' around
inside me this morning.
i wasn't thrilled about having it.
okay. i'll walk and figure it out so i can
put it down.
i knew it was about something with me.
because i was looking at someone else as
causing it.
grin.
nope.
i know better.
this has gotta be about me.
focus.
what's up with you, ter?
i couldn't nail it.
got a few things....including a shrieking
of 'what the heck is life for??' in there....
the usual noises inside me.
and yeah, they matter....but i knew they
weren't what was causing the feeling.
so i went to my body feelings.
okay.
where's it showin' up in your body?
ahhhhh........
go figure.
the only place i felt it was in my head.
the rest of me felt good.
i was walkin' good. smooth, easy.
no heaviness anywhere but in my head.
okay. that shouldn't be that hard then.
yeah, right.
i tried.
got nowhere.
then i tried to think of what the book i
was reading said to do.
there was awareness. okay, i got that.
i checked my body. got that.
now what???
i couldn't remember.
was it concentrate on the good stuff?
yeah, i can do that.
and so i tried to look at my day ahead and
figure out what i wanted to do with it and
how i wanted to make it good....
still the feeling hung in there.
it wasn't til i was home bouncin' on the
trampoline lost in some music and bouncin'
away...totally lost in the moment that i
remembered what the book said.
live in the now.
oh.
yeah.
i forgot.
oh.
yeah.
i smiled.
and kept bouncin'.
i'm not sure what the discontent is.....
but i know when i'm in the moment, i don't
have it.
so my big plan this morning is moment by moment.
and the delicious thing about all that is.....
it's my turn in the shower.
gonna be a cold shower as i'm so hot from the
bouncing.....
that's a moment or two that will be delicious
to just stay in.......
moment by moment......
i can certainly try.
No comments:
Post a Comment