Wednesday, July 1, 2009

delicious moments

a vague discontent was floatin' around
inside me this morning.
i wasn't thrilled about having it.

okay. i'll walk and figure it out so i can
put it down.

i knew it was about something with me.
because i was looking at someone else as
causing it.



i know better.
this has gotta be about me.
what's up with you, ter?

i couldn't nail it.
got a few things....including a shrieking
of 'what the heck is life for??' in there....

the usual noises inside me.
and yeah, they matter....but i knew they
weren't what was causing the feeling.

so i went to my body feelings.
where's it showin' up in your body?

go figure.

the only place i felt it was in my head.

the rest of me felt good.
i was walkin' good. smooth, easy.
no heaviness anywhere but in my head.

okay. that shouldn't be that hard then.
yeah, right.

i tried.
got nowhere.
then i tried to think of what the book i
was reading said to do.

there was awareness. okay, i got that.
i checked my body. got that.
now what???

i couldn't remember.

was it concentrate on the good stuff?
yeah, i can do that.

and so i tried to look at my day ahead and
figure out what i wanted to do with it and
how i wanted to make it good....

still the feeling hung in there.

it wasn't til i was home bouncin' on the
trampoline lost in some music and bouncin'
away...totally lost in the moment that i
remembered what the book said.

live in the now.

i forgot.

i smiled.
and kept bouncin'.

i'm not sure what the discontent is.....
but i know when i'm in the moment, i don't
have it.

so my big plan this morning is moment by moment.

and the delicious thing about all that is.....
it's my turn in the shower.
gonna be a cold shower as i'm so hot from the

that's a moment or two that will be delicious
to just stay in.......

moment by moment......
i can certainly try.

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