i just remembered....

what would i do without my shower???

was a long day. i decided to take an early shower
and just unwind, get in my jammies early, eat some
dinner, read a book...just relax.

got in the shower and that's when i remembered.

i read something this morning. the guys and i are
reading 'the road less traveled' together for the
SECOND time.

he mentioned in there today that when you give up
a belief that's been part of you, the normal reaction
to the giving up is sadness.

that that is a healthy normal reaction.

it can get outta hand and all that....but sadness,
depression, that's okay.

well.....today i got really sad.
really really deeply sad.

i was working and feeling it. and just letting
it flow thru.

it wasn't til i hit the shower that i remembered
what i had read.

and yeah......i am giving up a belief.
and he says that that also is important.
that we have to do that constantly thru life to grow.
we have to give up little pieces of ourselves and
change and grow. it's part of the deal.

and yeah, i am growing. and yeah, i lost a belief
recently. and yeah, it's made me really really sad.

but that's normal!

why do i always feel so much better when i read
i'm normal??!!

it's a process.

it's a growing.

it's a changing.

and some of that is sad.
but it's also necessary.
and it's part of the journey.

i don't know.
maybe it just reminded me it's all a process.

and i got excited.
and relieved.
all at once.