dancin' with my orange juice

okay, so it's one of the biggest hurdles
in my life that i've been workin' on for
years and years. i've been workin' so hard
on it, i figure the hurdle should be long
gone and then i think....nah...it'll always
be there...

what i think discourages me the most is
when something happens with that area in
my life, and my body chemistry changes.

you know the deal....you're sittin' there
fine and then someone says something to
you, or that phone rings and you see the
caller id and your whole insides do the
thing where every cell in your body reacts.

i hate that because it shows me that all
that stuff is still so way in me.

well, i am raising my glass of orange juice
this morning in one heck of a happy toast!

i had a body chemistry changing moment and...
MY BODY CHEMISTRY DIDN'T CHANGE!

not only did my body chemistry NOT change...
but i handled the moment with grace, ease,
and best of all honesty.

grace.
ease.
honesty.

my gosh.
what a combination.

and no no no no no did i say no? body chemistry
change.

ha!
ha!
ha!
i am so toasting this moment!

so i ask myself why.
cause i really would like this to be a pattern.

i think it's a combination of reasons.
some i won't always get for these moments.
but one that i have to pay attention to....

i didn't need anything from the person or the
moment.

if i don't need anything....then there's no
reason for a reaction, is there?

and that, i think, will be one of those wave
things. sometimes i'll have it and sometimes
i won't.

and maybe what's important here is i know that
and i cut myself some slack for when i don't
do so good.

and i do a little dance with my orange juice
when i do!