gotta start sometime....

a friend called yesterday with some
problems she was dealing with.

she was pretty upset so we started
with the story and the venting phase.

i so wish i could teach men the steps
of women talk!

the story details didn't really matter.
it's the story of every relationship i
ever heard of. details are different,
emotions always the same. but they matter
to her. and so we went over them.

at some point i got practical. it's odd
but i have a real practical side to me.
it's my dad in me coming out.
and when things are really tough, and i
want to help, that's where i go.

i offer it to friends who are really
struggling. i just get into practical mode.

this morning, quite by accident, i
offered it to myself.

and i think, because i was just doin' it
with my friend, it came real natural
and easy.

yesterday, i put out the situation to her.
i said 'okay, let's go over what we got.'
and i outlined it.

this morning i did the same for me.

why is something so basic so elusive?
this should be a daily routine.

got a problem?
just lay it out there for what it is.
take the emotions out. just lay it out
there.

this is the situation.

now what?

i don't know.....maybe it's cause my mind
is in constant jumbled state....but that was
so darn perfect to do.

okay. you knew the deal all along terri.
so what's your problem?

and then i laid those out.
but it just wasn't the same.

it was obvious to me that i was creating
stress for myself when i didn't have to.

if this is the situation and you accept that
it is. then why are you fighting it constantly?

and that big daunting word came floating down
once again.....

acceptance.

oh for pete's sake.....

you either accept it or you change it.

i think i've been so lost in the land in between.

doin' neither.

and i think what i'd like to do is accept it.

so?
i believe that's an either you do or you don't
kinda thing.

so?

i think what i'm gonna have to do logistically
is do the practical deal every time i feel emotionally
affected. just stop and do the practical thing.

'let's look at what we've got here.'

and i think, if i do that oh about 20,000 times,
i should get it!

gotta start sometime.....