weaving again....lotsa thoughts....
here we go.....
walkin' and thinking about a reaction i
have in my life that i want to tweak.
think it comes from taking past things
and putting it on present things. not
a good plan. and one i need to work on.
wonderin' where all in my life i do that?
really want to change that.
so walked and thought.
get to my goodmorningworld spot.
my eyes immediately fall on two plants on
the edge of the field. side by side they
stood there reaching up. i pictured bein'
a fairy of the field and stopping in front
of the plants. they were just like gates.
gates to another world.
i turned back to my walk. pictured
gates on each edge of the street.
saw them as the gates to mid life land.
mid life stuff is still swirling inside.
and i was feelin' it this morning.
sparked by one heck of a weird dream.
i entered the gates and followed my road.
grinned at the 'no dumping' sign.
looked over at the construction site.
all part of mid life world..
thought about wandering thru mid life and
how i had to drop the thought process of
putting the past on the present.
got home to my treadmill.
found myself walkin' really fast on it,
like i was runnin' away.
thought about where i was goin'.
how people my age already are talkin'
retirement and they're 'settled.'
feeling anything but settled.
i kept walkin' fast.
where am i going with my business?
with my life?
where will i be in ten years?
was feelin' the fear of the unknown
i started singing 'put one foot in front
of the other' out loud.
guess i'm just settlin' my nerves.
it made me laugh and smile.
put one foot in front of the other....
and soon you'll be walkin' 'cross the world.
i looked out the window.
one foot, ter.
just one foot.
then the next.
sometimes i feel really alone in the midlife
swirl i find myself in.
and sometimes i just wish the swirlin' would
but somewhere deep down i think it's taking me
and i think i want to go.
i know i want to go.
just wish i was steadier thru it......
more settled thru it.
and then i laugh.
steady and settled isn't what travelin'
is about, is it?
one foot in front of the other.......
and soon you'll be walkin' 'cross the world......