Wednesday, August 19, 2009

perfectly human?

i've never had anyone i trust like him.
i went to him again and asked for his thoughts.
asked him how he saw my struggles with trust.

we talked.
his thoughts helped a ton.
he's so logical and insightful.
and honest.
truly a partner in growth.

i was worried about my abilities to love.
i had tears in my eyes.
asking him about that.

he shook his head at one point.
looked at me and said he didn't understand
how i could even ask.
that i love every single day.
that my life is full of love.
how can i even ask?

i want to be so much more.
i want to be love.
if i'm am i ever gonna
be love???

he stopped looking bewildered.
looked me straight in the eyes.
'you've been talkin' that damaged goods
stuff ever since i've known you.
you need to drop that.
you are perfect the way you are.
you are perfect.'

i looked at him.

didn't believe him, of course.

but then i thought of every woman out there.
every person?
you guys reading this.

i debated typing it.
it's mine.
really personal.

but that's the point of the blog.
the realness of it.
this is a very very real struggle i have.

do you struggle with it?

if someone you trusted more than anyone in
the world told you you were perfect, would you
believe them?

why not?

if they told you that you were damaged in some
way....would you believe them?


and then i think of that line in the book
(see post below) about the parts of me that
feel like damaged goods...and the book saying
you are reacting normally from something

and that feels so incredibly right.

you are human.
you are perfectly human.

would you accept that one?

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Absolutely. It's amazing how often we blame ourselves for how we were treated. We would never blame someone else for what happened to them as children. I love your blog.