Monday, August 31, 2009

turnin' back the years....

i'm wound up like a nut.
too much to do, lots of good things,
chaos, actually.

gettin' ready to take yet another trip.
just an overniter again. this time to
see his pop. will be good as i haven't
seen him in ages.

he's the same age as my elderly neighbor.
she knows i'm goin' up to visit him.
she called to give me some magazines to
bring to him.

i went down.
sat on the floor next to her chair.
i was too wound up not to have some fun
with her.

i opened up and told her some personal
things that were goin' on.

she loves that.
jumps right in and discusses life with me.

i nodded seriously. agreed whole heartedly
with her assessments of my life and problems.

then we got to talkin' about men.
she's had enough of them.
and we laughed and laughed.

she got all fiesty and told me how she
just didn't 'want any of that.'

i cracked up and started kiddin' around
with her.

she grinned at me and confided in me that
she doesn't talk to the other neighbors
like this.

i laughed, leaned towards her and said
'that's cause we're doin' the girl talk.'

sometimes when i visit her and we carry
on like that, i feel like we're both in
high school.

i find that a little tiny miracle.
she's 83. i'm 48. the age span disappears
and we giggle and goof and share.
and we're both kids again.

that right there....what i just experienced....
that is the stuff of life that i think is

she puts a lot of magic in my life.

1 comment:

Christie said...

:Holdin Back the Years"....the title of an amazing song by Simply
Red, I heard it in the early 80's when I was chin deep in drama and pain. I cried the first time I heard it and each time it played, I cried again.
The early part of 2000,I heard for the first time the same song this time the version was by the Eisely Brothers, became significant in a new way this time around, only knee deep in pain and drama this time.I cried again.

I still cry whenever I hear it, but it's different now, kinda like the tears that come up when I read this and other of your posts, the sadness is still there, but there's clarity, an underlying knowing that there's more than sadness there's a unity, an understanding with all those others who've experienced so much of it too. And with that comes the knowing, the transformation, that the sadness can become something greater....moving through it and beyond it...together.
Thanks for helping me realize that my tears are different now.

Holding back the years
Thinking of the fear I’ve had so long
When somebody hears
Listen to the fear that’s gone

Holding back the years

Chance for me to escape from all I’ve known

Holding back the tears

Cause nothing here has grown

I’ve wasted all my tears

Wasted all those years

And nothing had the chance to be good

Nothing ever could yeah

I’ll keep holding on

I’ll keep holding on

I’ll keep holding on

I’ll keep holding on

" The really neat part is that I never listened to the words all those years ago, just listened to the pain. Finally listened to the words not too long ago and thought the words said "cause nothing here is wrong", turns out that's just my version.