Tuesday, October 20, 2009

maybe this will help.....

she's getting over being sick.
she tells me that when she laughs or cries
she coughs.
and she was wonderin' why in the world
she was meeting up with me cause that's
what we do together. laugh and cry.

so we tried hard not to.
and of course did it anyway.

and she coughed thru it.

we were celebrating her 60th birthday.
i gave her something that mattered to me
and teared up right away.

she looked at me and said 'don't do that
to me.'


i thought i was gonna be all eloquent and
tell her how much she means to me and
that this gift was sposed to symbolize that
and it felt sacred to me and her being here
felt sacred to me.....

and about all i did was get way teary and
mumble incoherent stuff.

i know she got the point.
but i so wanted to say it right.

on the drive home i was thinking about it.
surprised at how lame i was.

when stuff really matters to me, i tear up.
it doesn't matter what it's about...
if it's from my heart, the tears come.

so yeah, tears come a lot.

and words are hard to find.

i know she knew.
i just wish i coulda really told her.

she reads this blog....
maybe this will help...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Awwww... I know, dear one. I know.

Thx sooooo much. You are ALL heart.
The tears just endear you to me that much more.

Sometimes I read your blog really, really late at nite.