Thursday, November 12, 2009

it was callin' me...

i couldn't stand it.
it's raining again this morning.....
i looked outside and the rain was just pullin'
and tuggin' and hollerin' for me to come out.
the wind was blowin' and callin' for me...

i looked out my living room window.
'darn it. i gotta go out there.'

i didn't want to miss sun up. and as i was
scootin' around getting dressed and makin'
my bed, i laughed at myself. there's no sun up
today, ter. it's raining!

oh yeah!

i went out with total glee feelin' like i was
sneaking into some place very precious.

at first i was surprised...i thought it was raining
harder than it was. a little disappointed as i wanted
to get soaked, i turned my eyes to the sky. the rain
felt like tears. ohhhhhhh it felt so lovely.
all disappointment vanished.

i walked and soaked up every bit of everything i could.
the leaves everywhere where just so beautiful....
the water flowing....the gray clouds blowin' fast across
the filled me so much that my eyes kept tearing
up with gratitude.

gosh, i've missed this.

at one point i couldn't figure out if it was my tear or
a raindrop near my eye. i stood there at my goodmorningworld
spot and tried to see if i could tell just by feeling.
i did. it was a tear.

on my way back, the wind was blowin' really nice against
me. i felt like i was gettin' my soul blown clean.

i thought about it. closed my eyes for a moment as i walked.

i thought about how sometimes i just want to curl up with
my mom holding me. and how that just wouldn't work anymore.
even if i had the most magnificent mom on the planet. that
what i need sometimes is bigger than any human can offer...

i opened my eyes.

seems like it's the sky that offers what i need, i thought.

and i just felt held.

i didn't want to go in.

i stood in my yard a few minutes.
tears runnin' down my face.
my soul was opening like it hadn't in weeks...

my soul was opening.....
and it felt so incredibly good.

1 comment:

t2 said...

interesting...your thought about the tear.....I have actually had that same thought before...."the droplets on my face, which are tears and which are raindrops?" It takes quite a bit of awareness to distinguish them from on another. I use the temperature of the water....You know what I love about you? You have absolutely zero qualms about letting tears flow. I need to be more like that. I have even gone so far as to develop a method for getting rid of tears before they actually spill out of my eyes and onto my face. Cuz....I wouldn't want anyone to see a tear on my face, now would I? I have ALOT to learn from my wise friend, Terri St. Cloud.....