Monday, November 30, 2009

the processing begins....

was gonna skip the walk.
too much to do.
typing an order up when i looked out the window.
ohhhhhhh......the pinks and lavenders in the sky....
just around the block.

who knew i needed it so bad?

it's been such a whirlwind that i haven't processed
all that's been goin' on.

so the processing began.
and this weird panic kinda crept in.

i thought of sayin' goodbye to bob's uncle.
we dropped him back off at his apartment.
as we were pullin' in he said 'oh, i just hate
to say goodbye.'

and i didn't even know what to say.
i wondered if we'd ever even see him again.

i gave him two hugs goodbye.
and got back in the car and wondered.

this morning, the passing of time.
the lives passing in and out.
the kids growin'.
my own aging.
the funeral.
memories of other funerals.

it all swirled.
and i got crazy inside.
thinking it's all going so fast.
so so so fast.

and then i reached the sky's stage
and i stopped under it and just stood
and looked.

and looked.

and looked.

and took it in.
let it soak over me.

it was so calm.
so peaceful.

it's all okay, it whispered over and over
to me.

and i just stood there.

i have a lot of processing to do.
i can tell by the craze inside of me.

i need to make time to do just that.

and i so need to stand under the sky and
soak it in.
cause i heard it whispering.
but i didn't feel the message sink in.....

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