we had put our christmas lites up early.
we didin't turn them on early...but we grabbed
a warm day and stayed up on the roof for a bit.
i sat on that roof and thought 'ya know, i am
really ready for a good christmas this year.'
we've had three really tough ones in a row.
i sat there and could feel the readiness, the
opening to it all. it felt so good on that warm
sunny day on that roof.
and then i hit a rough patch and was wonderin'
if i'd feel the excitement this year. it used
to be my favorite holiday. i so want some of
that joy back.
this past week i feel like the christmas magic
dust has been floating down on me a little bit
at a time.
it started the day before the concert, and has
just kept sprinkling.
yesterday bob and i healed something that needed
healing between us. and that seemed to be the final
blast of the christmas dust. bob even said 'it's
the holiday season, we needed this.'
this morning i put on my christmas sheets! one's
red, one's green. i made christmas pillow cases when
the kids were little. i still have them. and yep!
i put them on! i smiled at those pillows against
the red and green sheets.
it feels good to feel some of the christmas feelin'.
the anniversary of my dad's death is at the end of
the week. and i'm hopin' it doesn't send me into
some weird tailspin like the last anniversary of a
death did a few weeks ago....
but ya know what? i gotta be okay with wherever my
little tail spins.....
cause it's ALL part of the season of magic....and
hope....and light in the darkness.
can't have no light if we don't have no darkness.
wonder if i can remember that....