January 1, 2010

laying in my bed way past any time i usually
lay in bed, i thought about it being january
first. 2010. totally totally amazes me.

i don't know how to explain the different view
i have this go round....but it's slightly different
and the slightly different part seems to be
doing something magnificent.

i'm seein the whole year being handed to me
as such a gift. i'm visualizing more of it in
a chunk form (that's the different part).
i'm visualizing a year being put into my hands.

i think before i just thought of all the goals
i wanted to achieve, all the dreams i wanted
to work on. MY STUFF.

this time i'm seeing LIFE'S stuff and MY stuff
mixed together.

i don't know how to explain it, but whatever it
is, it's clearly showing me the gift of it all.
the preciousness of what is handed to me today.

i have so many resolutions this year. more than
i've ever had in my life. because i WANT them
not because i SHOULD have them.

some years i didn't want any.
some years i did what i thought was right.

this year i want to grab so many lessons i got
from last year and expand on them. i want to
be as healthy as i possibly can in my body,
and mind and spirit.

i want to encourage the growth inside me and
love more, live more, give more, laugh more,
dance more and sing more.

and here's the ticket to all of that.....
i want to stop fighting the struggles.
i want to know they're part of it all and allow
them and sing and dance and laugh and love
thru them.

i want to let things flow thru me, not get
stuck in my hands.

i want to pull one more layer off....heck.....
pull all the layers i can off and become
that much brighter....that much more of what
love is.

i'm boiling all that down into all kindsa
resolutions today. gonna sit with my pad and
pen and write it all out. zakk's gonna flip.
we're all meeting up to work on resolutions.
he'll be doin' his electronically, i'm sure.

he can't believe i use paper and pen for
anything! and i can't believe he's doin'
resolutions! this should be a lotta fun.

and the year begins...