Thursday, February 4, 2010

me and my heart

ohmygosh, i'm reading way too many books at once.
i don't usually do this, but i think i have
something like five of them goin' at once now!

i just started 'broken open' ....and ohmygosh.
several friends told me i really needed to read
this one. i think they are sooo right!

i just started and am gasping and clutching my

she's talkin' about people finding themselves
thru the crisis they have and she said 'that
until the body or the heart or the bank was
broken, they didn't know who they were, what
they felt or what they wanted.'

oh ho ho.

i sat there and looked at that word 'heart.'

my heart got so broken open.
my heart.

it wasn't my body or my was my

of course.
it had to have been.

i just nodded.

i NEEDED my heart to be broken open so
that i could ohmygosh i don't know what...
rebuild it? refill it?
put back together with my own love?

i don't know....but i so know i needed it.
go figure.

for a long time i've known it was a good
thing, that i got a lot of good out of it.
but not sure i knew i NEEDED IT.

my heart.
go figure.

me and my heart.
we needed to break a bit.

i gotta remember that when i try so hard
to protect it......


AkasaWolfSong said...

"And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anaïs Nin

That's it! Totally and completely that is it! :)

You are right. I think that is what I am experiencing right now...
my heart being broken open. So I can learn to love myself. That sounds so cliche' but it is brutally honest. I go through
those times of yes, I love myself and then wham! Something knocks me off my feet so I have to look up and it's then I see I don't love myself the way I am supposed to love myself. Certainly not the way I love others and honestly, how can we love others if we don't love ourselves?

I think I will take the risk of letting my heart open just like the bud.

I'm with you Lady..."I gotta remember that when I try so hard to protect it..."

peggi said...

from a Carly Simon song:

"i know nothing stays the same
but if you're willing to play the game
it's coming around again.
so don't mind if i fall apart
there's more room in a broken heart"