Tuesday, February 16, 2010

only you

i knew yesterday i was looking outside of myself
for things that i needed to find inside myself.

and yet....i kept doin' it.
i'd stop myself and refocus......and then do it

by the time i went to bed,
it had been knocked into me that it was
up to me and that i really had to look there.
bam. bam. bam.
knock. knock. knock.
i think i got it.
i got it.
i got it.

that's good and bad.

i like it cause it's cool to be the source.
there really is something incredible about that.

i don't like it cause i just want someone or
something to make it all okay for me.

this morning as i walked i rambled everywhere
in my thoughts. then kinda just stopped myself
and said 'okay, what's the deal?'

and the answer that came immediately was.....
nothing is perfect.

nothing is perfect.
and it's where you focus, terri.
it's where you focus.

the two things kinda meshed together because
when you go looking for things outside you to
answer things they can't answer, it's not gonna
work. and you can get disappointed that they
aren't enough or you can get refocused.

you can see things as letting you down....
or you can see them as being way cool for what
they are and knowing they aren't the answer to

it's where you focus.
and nothing is perfect.

maybe instead of nothing is perfect,
it should be....nothing has all your answers.
even you.

even when you look inside you.

or no. no. no.
maybe it should be........nothing else or no one
else has all your answers, except you.
it's just you gotta realize that sometimes your
answer for yourself is 'there is no answer, you
gotta trust.'

and trusting is your answer.
and only you can answer that for yourself sometimes.

yeah, maybe that's it.

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