Saturday, March 27, 2010

my sons

zakk wasn't feelin' good. he stayed home to just
hang out. yo and i headed to josh's for dinner.

the rhythm between family is one of my all time
favorite things. the pullin' the dishes out, the
choppin' the food, the chatterin' while we move
around each other. i love that.

as we sat around the table eating, we shared our
stories and thoughts. there wasn't a dull moment.
i had been waiting to tell them a story of mine,
so i shared. they came back with their thoughts
on it. we talked, asked questions, were interested
in each other. politics, relationships, work, and
dreams were mixed together with that meal.

all the while, i noticed zakk wasn't there.

when one is missing, i always feel it. always.
i hoped he was just layin' around resting.

and i watched us around the table.
i do that.
i watch.
and i treasure.

josh wanted to show us a song he'd been workin' on.

i laughed and i clapped and i squirmed with delight
on my stool.

one more?


one more?


we clapped for him, praised him, enjoyed him.

'you've gotten really good, josh, or it's been way too
long since i've heard you play,' yo said.

i smiled.
agreed heartily.

we talked of how he could tweak something he was struggling
with. he was inspired. rarin' to go to work on it.

we left him working, and headed out to the night.

the chatting was easy on the way home. and we both
delighted in what josh was doing. we fell into talk
of our own projects and what we were doing with them.
the support we share. the ideas we come to each other for.
the safe place to ask where to tweak, and how to tweak
things that we can't figure out. we all do that. we
all come to the others for ideas, and thoughts. i think
it's really unusual, and may be because we're all creating
our own work and we're all trying to learn as we go
along. whatever the reason, i know it's gold.

gettin' out of my car in my driveway under the moon,
i thought of josh back home workin' away on his song and
i smiled.

i know i can't keep them all under one roof...
and soon it will be many roofs.

but i saw how connected we all are.
and the love between us.

i was overwhelmed with gratitude.
and headed in to check on zakk.


Pamela Jones said...

Big group hug!
Thank you for warming my heart on a cold morning.

Love to you all!

AkasaWolfSong said...

Oh the depths of mother/child love...leaves you feeling so full at moments doesn't it?

Group Hug Indeed! :)

Qn Dani said...

I finished a huge project yesterday and sat down to take a rest in the family room which is the family room - full of pics from the years. I was thinking how much I miss having my kids around when the phone rings and it's my oldest - calling to tell me about his new job. I wandered out to the living room as I was talking to him and looked out the window to see my youngest pull into the driveway.

Both of them at once!!

Of all the things I am - being mom is my most favorite. No matter how old they get, or how far away they live, when they come home they are my precious little boys - all 6'1" of them respectively - and all in the world is good.

It doesn't get much better than that!!

faerian said...

my eldest (9) is having a hard time at school - friendships shifting, managing change, all that hard stuff that i wish i could protect her from but of course all i can do is hold her hand and stroke her head when she needs it... and love her
like you love your boys!