Wednesday, March 17, 2010

step right up!

so sometimes i think i'm intuitive and quick and
have an ability to read people...

and then...other times....i wonder how i made it
this far in life!

this morning was one of the wondering times.

we were talkin' on the phone. we haven't had
much time together at all and we're both tryin'
to cope with the distance.

we cope in different ways.
and just like most things about us, those ways are
very different.

and this morning, for the first time ever, his
coping mechanisms shot in front of my eyes and
i saw them clearly!!!

i've been in love with him for years. YEARS.
how have i not seen this before??!!

so there i am gleefully telling him what i see.

'ter, i have been trying to tell you this for

i laugh.

'don't bark at me. i'm really excited about this.'

he laughs back, tells me he wasn't barking.
good feelings just flood over me.

i hung up and went for my walk, i just about ran,
i had so much energy from the insight.

so how do you do this, ter? how do you miss something
so big and so obvious for years when you can understand
this stuff about people you barely know???

ahhhh...that's the thing, isn't it?

this man is the man i've given my heart to. he has
the power to crush that thing...and i know that.

and because of that, my insecurities play in with

oh wow.
think about everyone i must do this with? think of
all the ways i don't really see what's going on
because of my own stuff!

it totally hit me as i walked.

but it wasn't bumming me out at all.
it was exciting me.

the more we drop of our stinking baggage, the more
we can see the people around us.

AND the more we can allow them to be who they are!!!

this whole thing has totally delighted me.

seeing ourselves/seeing others....those things are
so incredibly entangled.

i think before that used to overwhelm me.
and maybe it means i've traveled a bit of a distance
with it all, because now it totally excites me.

step right up. let me see you for who you really are.
and let me delight in your presence!


AkasaWolfSong said...

And forever on this St. Patrick's Day you can look back on it as the day you 'got the picture of the total love thingy.'

Maybe for you the color of Love is Green?

You are just so awesome Ter! And I love you! I hope you know that!

Happy St. Patty's Day! ♥

Pamela Jones said...

Loving that "total love thingy" of Akasa's! LOL!!! It's the letting go without walking away thingy.

The sun is shining, and I think it's you, ter!

Indie said...

It is a drizzly cold day here where I am. Reading your blog feels like drawing close to bright little fire!