i think it's kinda funny that my quote of the
days are talkin' to me....
i don't usually even pay attention to them.
this was today's.......
'believing that every thought counts,
every word matters,
and every action is power -
she chose to fill them
with gentleness and love.'
i read that and then walked.
the last few days have been filled with
bumps for me.
things that are pulling up old demons.
old demons generally unleash all kindsa
things in me...
i sat and did a little inner child work
last nite....was good. i haven't done
that in a long time. this style is some
writing in a journal.
what i saw happening was some wisdom comin'
out from my depths...and i don't want to
listen to it.
i have to laugh.....
great. you finally get some wisdom coming
out and you don't want to hear it.
little terri hands me the wisdom then says
'you lead, i'll follow.'
i lead with wisdom i don't want to hear.
this should be good.
and how interesting to get the challenge to lead.
and so i walked thinking about filling my
thoughts and actions with gentleness and love...
okay.....i can do that.
but first......i have to do that with me.
cause i gotta tell ya, if a 48 year old woman
could crawl into a mama's lap and just curl
in there....i'd do it.
so the gentleness and love starts with all of
it's weird.....i want to integrate me so there's
really only one me. but right now, i know there's
not. there's many parts. and when i choose to take
care of one part...i gotta remember all the parts.
i have a friend who's been reminding me.
she's been tellin' me this all along.
sometimes i'm dense....
but i got it now.
i walked and thought about being gentle with me.
acknowledging the pain that's surfacing and allowing
it. allowing me to be me. and knowing that that's
the first step to taking all these things i want to
mix together and live.
acknowledge where you're at ter....know you'll fill
your actions with gentleness and love.....
and start with you.
then you can lead, and all of you will follow.