i done good

i was love.

i was.

i really really was.

and the one time i really didn't want to be....
the one time i really wanted to be a dark cloud
full of resentment, i took a walk outside around
the house.

'you're here to sprinkle stars,' i told myself.

'you can do it. do it now. this is your biggest
challenge. do it.'

i walked around the house saying out loud 'you
can do it, you can do it.'

and i did it. i went in and did it.

when i got in my car to drive home i knew i had
done really good.

and yet, an overwhelming sadness came over me.

just overwhelming.

it took me awhile before i went to little terri.
of course. something this deep.....it's little
terri related.

i sat her in my lap and we both drove the car
home. we put stars on each other as we drove
and i told her i loved her.

we talked.
and we headed back to a life of love.

the drive is really kinda cool. a straight shot
away from one life into my life now.
it's very symbolic and i use that in my mind.
as i get closer to home i pictured the love
waiting for me.

i'm still sad.
and that makes sense.

it's okay.

tomorrow, i'm hoping to celebrate how good i did.
cause it really is a cause for celebration.

sadness first.
as that's inside me right now.

then celebration........cause that's inside me too!