a morning ride

so i took a bike ride this morning....
i floated around the neighborhood. took the
route i used to take when the boys were
little...felt good.

i rode and wondered about life. had a note
in my head. stories of someone's pain.
looked at the sky a lot. passed the ol'
pastor. saw him out and thought 'hey, maybe
i'll ask him about life. what do you do with
the pain you see around you?' but he had
gotten too close to his house by the time
i rode by. figured it wasn't the kinda thing
you hollered.

besides, he'd prolly just tell me to trust
god.

i'm not sure how much that'll work for me
this morning.

altho, last nite, after i read the note,
i did a little praying.

thought of another note. a woman lost her mom
and was really grieving. sounds like she died
like my dad did.

she mentioned how she didn't feel her mom near
her. and wasn't sure she would.

that also felt familiar.

trust god?
trust the universe?

how does this one woman who wrote last nite trust
god after what she's been thru?

how does this other woman trust when she can't
feel anything?

what the heck is it all about???

and i rode and rode and rode.

came back with no answers at all.
but a plan.....
gonna step into my day with a full heart.
it's not totally open. i can feel that.
gonna step into my day aware of that,
and try to let it open.

that's where i seem to touch god.....
and today i think i need to try for that.....