so i grabbed a quiet moment this morning and
a package that came in the mail yesterday.
it was my heart necklace i ordered from kim.
(here's kim's blog that was mentioned in a few
posts below if you missed it.....)
i had originally bought it as a gift.
here's the deal.
i don't have a lotta extra money right now.
and i like to support artists. so i purchase from
them all year and buy my gifts for other people
that way. i tuck them away for birthday presents
and christmas. i spread the buying out that way and
get to buy all kindsa cool things.
buying for myself right now isn't in the budget.
which is fine. budgets expand and tighten and i'm
okay with that.
but while i loved this, it wasn't for me.
i probably knocked her over like a hurricane this
morning when i quickly explained to her that my symbol
for myself is a heart. that i want to be love, that
i have been feeling really dark inside....i have been
seein' the blackness and i have been concentrating
on the stars inside of the blackness and how i have
been thinking about not wanting to lose the colors
inside of me...
whoosh i just poured it out fast.
it was either that or write her volumes.....
and here i sit holding something i never would have
bought for myself....just because i am trying to
budget. it's a black heart with shimmering
glowing colors made up of tiny specks of stars with
the word love attached to it.
okay. i'm not blind.
this one was meant for me.
i'm keeping it.
i am SO SO keeping it.
and as crazy as this sounds.....i feel like kim was
my angel.....an instrument of the universe....
hanging around my neck is an affirmation from something
it's whispering to me......
'hang on to the colors inside you...they are made up of
stars....even in the blackness, they are there.......
you are love.....