Friday, June 18, 2010

stopping the preparations and just being....

ohmygosh, it's another gorgeous day!
i actually woke up cold!
and sitting by the window here is chilly!
yes! i love this weather. just makes me

this whole last week i've been mentally
making a list of things i can do on sunday.
i'll walk thru the yard and think, man, i
really need to get out and trim...maybe i
can do that sunday!
ohhhh i want to fix something up in the house,
maybe i'll do that sunday!
i want to check out this book, this movie,
this magazine...oh i can do that sunday!

sunday is father's day and last year i fell

so i'm tryin' to brace up all the walls and
make it a good day.


i'm such a goose.

so this morning as i sipped my tea and said
hello to the morning, and one more time i
thought of something i could do sunday, it
occurred to me.....

just stop, ter.

if you feel funky on sunday, then stop and
feel funky. if you feel sad, stop and feel
where it is in your body and what it's doin'.

the book i'm reading....women, food and god
is SUCH a good reminder for this stuff. she's
talking about doing this with our feelings.
i'm already aware of that idea, but she's
taken it to a different level for me.

she says it's all about feeling it in the body
and then she adds.....notice any beliefs that
pop up with it.

the beliefs may very well be old, outdated
beliefs that you can let go of.

ohhhhh isn't that cool?

so i looked at what was goin' on with me with
this. i'm just plain scared to face any of that
stuff that tends to pop up during days like
father's day.

there's no need for the fear.

i'm okay.

looking out the window this morning, i believe that
so easily.

and sunday, should i forget, i'm at least gonna
remember to stop and feel what it is i'm feelin'
and see what beliefs pop up.

what a great opportunity to see what old stuff is
still lurking around that needs to be seen and allowed
and then.....who knows??? maybe let go of.


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry it's a difficult day for you, Terri. I'll be holding you in my heart - full of love for you dear friend. <3

AkasaWolfSong said...

Sending you love, lots of love and big, big hugz! :)

Just repeat after me...'I am Amazing! I am filled with Star Power!'

Merry ME said...

Do you feel like a Ketchup bottle?
When I read this I could kind of here the strains of "Anticipation" in the background.

I've found that the more I anticipate a scary something, the more I will probably be upset by it. Being prepared is one thing. Dreading is another. Sounds like you've got a plan to get through the day taking care of yourself. That's a tribute to your father, you know. Being all you can be has got to honor him.

t2 said...

Holidays are HARD. Family and friends get so dang MAD at me b/c I generally don't support the holiday thing or celebrate it. It's a twofold thing I suppose.....1) if I love somebody and want to honor them, I do it, on whatever day it happens to be. I don't need a holiday set aside for that. 2) holidays in the traditional sense tend to bring up alot of old dirt, not just for me, but for others, as I understand it. More friends than I can count remember holidays from their childhood where at least one of their parents had a little too much celebrating, and acted inappropriately, if you know what I mean. For me - Father's Day reminds me of the men who have abandoned both my daughter and myself. Not good. So, yeah, I send cards to certain people, kinda like I would a bday card, but other than that, I pretty much skate over the fact that's it's a "holiday." It took a LONG while for me to get to this point. But for me personally, it works, and I'm much happier this way, all year. Just like my own personal spiritual practice, I have developed a new "holiday" schedule that suits me.....i.e., new moons, solstices, first day of each season, etc. There is no trauma/drama in this for me. Just thoughts......p.s. I should add - I completely respect and honor those who do choose to celebrate traditional holidays, but I don't appreciate it when they dog me for not participating in what they consider important or celebratory. Know what I mean?