Tuesday, July 13, 2010

the hurt train

we were talkin' and he was fillin' me in on
stuff goin' on with him that's tough.

he finished fillin' me in, i asked him a few
questions to get a feel of where he was. he
was definitely at a 'whatever' place with all

you know......
when you just say 'whatever.'

i got it, even tho we didn't say that out loud.
i understood where he was.

then he asked me about something he knew was
buggin' me.

i told him that i was just letting it go.
lettin' it be whatever it was.

he commented on that sounding healthy.

'i don't know how healthy it is, as there's
a lotta hurt behind it.'

and that's when he said......'sometimes that's
how you gotta get there, on the hurt train.'

and as soon as he said that, i realized that's
exactly what was goin' on with him too.
with his 'whatever.'
sometimes the hurt just goes on for too long
or it's too much and you just let go.

the hurt train brings you to that release place.

where you just can't deal with it anymore and
you just let go.

looking at his situation, i could see it bringing
him to where he needed to go. to a place that was
a little more honest in what was goin' on.

so i turned to my own situation.
my gosh.
same thing.
bringing me to a place i needed to go.
a place that was a little more honest in what
was really goin' on.

sometimes, maybe it's true, maybe you need the hurt
train to get you there......

maybe everything, including hurt, carries something
for us if we let it.


Pamela Jones said...

So, imagine that you've been hurt. And your body or your emotions of the moment have healed, but you've kept that hurt in front of you so you can see it and remember it and know if it ever comes your way again. You carry it, like an armload of bricks, everywhere you go. Now and then, when you meet someone safe, you can put down the bricks and rest for a bit; but before you go on, you pick them up again. Your arms are so full of hurt that there's no way they can hold the love and the good things that might come your way -- the bricks always stand between you and the good stuff -- as well as the bad. My heart was hurt terribly when my son died. I carried that hurt like a huge splinter that stayed lodged right in my heart, where it festered and poisoned me; but I was afraid to remove it. I thought if I lost the hurt there would be a huge hole in my heart -- just the size of a little boy -- and I'd never be able to bear seeing the reason I was aching. At one terrible time, I wrote "don't rob me of my pain, it's all I have." We hold onto the hurt, because in some bizarre way it takes the place of whatever we have lost. We carry it as a memorial to our injury. Only when we put it down can the wound heal. My heart bears a scar, but it's a mark of the healing that has taken place since I laid down my pain and removed the festering splinter. It is hard to put the hurt away; but all that follows the courageous act is healing and growth.

Sherry said...

Not tryin' to make light of your post Terri, or your comment Pam, because they're both AWESOME. But sometimes laughter can help too, and I can't help but hear in my head to the tune of Cat Stevens.."ride on the 'hurt' train.." la la la...